Savior (JJReid)
by Haileyms2
Summary: JJ seems to be doing fine after her abduction and torture, but is there something she's hiding? Spencer is determined to figure it out. Will he be able to save her from the monsters that haunt her, and the ones that are in her future? Will she find that its easier to have him by her side than try to battle things out alone? JJ/Reid fanfic, trying to make it extensive :)
1. Excuses

_First time writer, I appreciate constructive criticism, but don't be mean :) Also, Will and Henry do not exist in this. the story takes place 4 months after "200"._

It had been 4 months since JJ had been abducted and tortured by Askari and Hastings, but you would have thought it had been a lifetime ago. She was going on with life like nothing had ever happened, making for a very surprised yet grateful BAU team. They had done dozens of cases, and she had been able to go through all of them without a problem. At first, everyone was a little skeptical that she was in denial of the whole thing, but after a month or two even Hotch agreed that everything was going back to normal.

But Spencer Reid knew better than that.

He saw her always looking over her shoulder, even when she was in the office and perfectly safe. He saw the moment of panic in her eyes every time they got a case that had to do with abduction and torture. He knew she wasn't doing well, but try as he might, he never got a word out of her about it. He'd tried to make it clear form the very beginning that he would always be there if she needed him.

-Flashback-

The night they brought her home was bad. Reid was assigned to stay with her all night, to monitor her and make sure she didn't make any rash decisions. When they got to her house, she collapsed on the couch with exhaustion. Despite his efforts, Spencer had no chance at convincing her to eat. Every time he tried, she looked at him with her sad, bloodshot eyes and begged him to just let her get some sleep. And, Spencer, being as head - over - heels he was for her, didn't have it in him to argue with her.

About 3 hours after they feel asleep, her on her bed (after Spencer had convinced her to walk that far) and him on the couch, he woke up to screaming. He quickly grabbed his gun off of the end table and ran to her room. He swung the door open and saw her sitting up in the bed, her eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

"JJ, are you okay?"

She looked at him and took a moment to register that she was in her room, and Spencer was the one talking to her. Than she remembered her nightmare. "Spencer, it was horrible". She told him about her nightmare, where Hastings had continued to torture her, even after he had gotten the codes from her and Matt.

"Its okay. He's dead now. He's not going to get you. I promise. Your going to be just fine", Spencer reassured her.

"But Spence, what if there's more? If someone has both of those codes, they have power. What stops the other people Matt and I met in Afghanistan from wanting to get them from us?"

"JJ, not many people know about the codes, and its very unlikely that the rest of those people are corrupt as Hastings and Askari. Everything's going to be fine. Then team will protect you. _I_ will protect you".

Reid saw that JJ had calmed down and had accepted that everything was going to be okay, at least for now. He began to get up off the bed to leave, but a hand around his wrist stopped him. He turned around and looked at her, confused.

"Please... don't leave. I'm scared. I know it might be weird, but please just stay in here with me, just for tonight?"

Spencer couldn't say no to her. Not that he wanted to. And, even though the circumstances were bad, he was glad he would be able to sleep next to her, even if it was only for one night.

-End Flashback-

Spencer sat in the break room talking to Emily and Penelope when JJ walked in. She was wearing her classic black skinny jeans and white button up shirt with black flats. She smiled at everyone as she walked passed them and made her way to the coffee machine, like she did every morning. Spence smiled at it, knowing she would be probably be lost with out having it.

Emily was the first one to speak. "Hey JJ, the team is going out for drinks tonight, you should come, everyone's going. Even Reid." Emily looked over at Spencer with a mischievous grin, making fun of him for hating to go out to bars. Spence could only slightly laugh and look at JJ expectantly.

JJ laughed at Emilys joke and then replied, "Thanks for the invite Em, but I think I'm going to pass for tonight. In going to go to the gym tonight. Sorry". She excused herself to go get some work done, since she had a lot of file piling up.

Reid scrunched his eyebrow together. This was definitely not right.

"Hey Em, I'm going to be late tonight."

"Spencer Reid, you better not being bailing on me!"

"I promise I won't! I just have a few things to do before after work. Ill be there by 8."

Reid didn't even have to wonder if JJ was avoiding going out. He _knew_ she was. Because JJ was a workout junkie, and if anyone knew the gym schedule it was her.

And the gym was closed today.

 _Okkkayy so there it is. Remember, this is my very first writing ever, so don't be mean. Ill hopefully be able to get in a regular schedule for updating the story, cause i want it to be great. Let me know what you think :) Thanks for reading!_

 _-Hailey_


	2. Truth

_And here's chapter 2! Both in one day. I really hope everyone likes this story. I should be posting the next chapter soon enough. Please review, it really means a lot! Until next time :)_

 _-Hailey_

JJ had left work after lunch, since she had gotten all her work done. She drove home in about 15 minutes, desperate to just be home already. She didn't like going out in social settings, and even to much time at the office stressed her out. It had been like that since the abduction, even though she wouldn't admit it to herself. She blamed it on social anxiety, even if she had never felt like that before. She sat down and opened a bottle of wine and poured herself some, doing anything she could to calm herself down and bring her stress levels back down to earth. She had been sitting down watching tv for nearly 5 hours when there was a knock at the door. Her guard shot through the roof. She quietly put her glass down and tiptoed to the kitchen to grab her gun of the table. She paced over to the door and looked through the peephole to see Spencer. She let out a breath and opened the door.

"Hey Spence, what's up?"

"Uh, not much, I just wanted to ask you a quick question". He replied.

"Yeah, sure, what's up? Is everything okay with them team?"

He took a deep breath in. "Jaydge, why did you tell Emily you were going to the gym today instead of going out with us?"

Shit. JJ had completely forgot about her lie to get out of going out for drinks. She swallowed. "How did you know" she said bluntly.

"JJ, you're the biggest exercise junkie I know, you know when the gym is open. And today, it's not." He paused. "What's going on?"

JJ sighed. There was no hiding it now, at least from him. She had guessed he would figure it out eventually, she was just hoping it wouldn't be this soon. She hadn't even begun to fully understand it yet. Oh well. "Spence, why don't you come in and sit down?"

He followed her to the couch and sat down opposite of her. She looked him in the eyes and began

"After the abduction, I expected to come home and for everything to be okay. I thought that I would go back to my normal life as a profiler and not have to worry about anything." She paused, not sure how to get everything out. "But it wasn't. I gave it a week. I waited and waited for it to start getting better, but it never did. I would close my eyes and I would see him, and hear his voice. I couldn't get away from it, it was like it was consuming my life and there was nothing I could do about it. I thought it would get better but it just never did. I was stuck with the memory of him torturing me and-"

JJ had to stop, she was crying so much she could barely get the words out. She looked up at Spencer and saw that he understood what she was talking about. His face showed nothing but pain and resent for the man that did this to her.

"Jaydge, why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you through all of it. Or, at least, why didn't you tell _me_?

The last thing JJ wanted was for Spencer to be upset she didn't tell him. "Spence, it wasn't like that. I didn't even want to admit it to myself." She paused to think about how she wanted to word this part. "My biggest fear joining the BAU was to come out of something with PTSD. I didn't want one thing to control how I lived the rest of my life. So when you guys saved me, I did my best to completely forget everything that happened to me there. I wanted to move on with life like usual. I was in complete denial that what happened to me could haunt me forever. I chose not to deal with it, and in turn it just haunted me even more. I wasn't sure how to deal with my problems, so I didn't at all. I haven't been able to sleep, or even go out in public. I was too scared that I was still somehow in danger. That's why I didn't want to go out tonight."

Spence just looked at her. He knew that she was still having issues, but he didn't know the full extent. She was so strong, so independent, he couldn't even imagine her being weak, even if he had seen it just a couple of months ago.

"JJ, I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I didn't know this much was bothering you."

"That's because I didn't want anyone to know. I was trying to deal with it myself. And since I'm not getting any sleep, I can barely even get through a work day now."

Spencer stared at her sympathetically. "When is the last time you even slept through the night?"

JJ took a deep breathe in. "The first night I got back. When you stayed with me. I don't know if it's because the reality of the situation hadn't fully hit me yet, or if it's because you were there. And it sucks, because know I have to stay home. I would much rather be with you guys than stuck in my house because I'm too stressed to leave."

Spencer thought for a moment. "JJ, do you want me to hang out here tonight? We can watch movies, and you won't have to be alone."

JJ smiled at the thought, but then remembered his previous plans. "But you have plans to go out tonight"

Spencer shrugged. "There will be plenty more nights for them to drag me out with them against my will," he joked, "but tonight I'd rather stay with you."

JJ smiled big enough it reached her eyes. "Thanks, Spence. It means a lot."

They spent the next 5 hours watching Disney movies, much to Reid's amusement and enjoyment. After getting though Robin Hood, Pocahontas, and halfway through Lady and the Tramp, he looked down to see her asleep on his shoulder. He eased his arm from under her, stood up, picked her up and took her to her room and lay her down on the bed. He started for the door to leave, until he heard a small, quiet voice say his name. He turned around and look at her, her eyes still closed.

"Yeah"

"Please don't leave. I think you stop the nightmares. And I'm not lonely when you're here. Please?"

He turned around and lay down in the bed next to her, and she leaned her back into him. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Good night, JJ"

"Good night Spence." She turned around and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank You."


	3. Agreements

Spencer woke up with the sun in his eyes, and quickly realized that he was not in his bed. And, for a second, he couldn't quite figure out where he was. That was until he looked over at the gorgeous blonde asleep in his arms. He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. She adjusted into his arms, and in doing so she turned to the window, allowing the light to spread across her face. She tightened her eyes, only to open them and be looking directly at Spencer.

"Hey".

JJ took a second to remember last night, when she asked him to stay the night with her. She smiled. "Hey".

"Did you sleep well?" He questioned.

Her smile got even bigger. "Yeah, I really did Spence. I really appreciate it." Her smile faded. "It was nice to have one night in peace, but it's not like I can call you over here every night to sleep with me. So I guess there's that. I'm going to have to figure out how to cope with this myself."

He pulled her closer to him. "Jaydge, if you want, I can stay here with you every night. It's really not a big deal, and it would help you get better. The less scared you are of the problem, the easier it is to face it. I want you to get better, JJ. I don't want you to be scared."

JJ frowned a little. "I can't ask you to do that. It's completely changing your schedule. You shouldn't have to cater to me every night. Plus, you and I both know Hotch would have our necks if he found out."

"But he won't find out. He doesn't have to know. It's not like he's going to come by and check. And it really wouldn't change my schedule, I'll be fine," He paused and added with a smile, "and neither of us will be lonely."

JJ looked at him, not completely convinced. "Are you sure Spence, you really don't have to. I could learn to cope with it."

Spencer just smiled at her and hugged her. "I'm sure."

They lay in bed with each other for a while before JJ's alarm went off, and they had to get up and get ready for bed. Lucky for Spencer, he had extra clothes in his car and changed into them. While he was doing that, JJ made pancakes for the both of them. They ate and rushed to the office so they wouldn't be late.

When they walked in, Emily, Derek, and Penelope were in the breakroom getting coffee. JJ and Spencer came in, and JJ went to get her coffee. Reid, instead of getting and apple form the fridge like he usually does, sat down at the table with Emily and read the newspaper. Emily thought it was weird, considering since she the day she met him he had always eaten an apple before reading the newspaper every morning, but left it go.

Derek was the first to start conversation. "So, pretty boy what did you do last night? Wait, let me guess, memorizing some obscure textbook, or working on cold fusion, or did you watch Star Trek and laugh at the physics mistakes?"

Spencer laughed, remembering Morgan saying that years ago. "Very funny. I didn't think you had the brain capacity to remember that far back."

Everyone in the room laughed at Spencer's playful insult, even Derek. "Nice one, pretty boy. But really, what _did_ you do last night?"

Reid almost told him what really happened last night, but stopped the words before they slipped out. "Just watched TV for a few hours. Sorry I didn't come last night, I wasn't feeling good." Prentiss glared at him. She had guessed yesterday that he would come up with an excuse to get out of going out with them, and she assumed this was it. She spoke up next.

"What about you JJ, what did you do last night?"

JJ had already prepared herself to be asked that question. "I went to the gym, remember? That's why I didn't go out with you guys." She paused. "Alright, I'm going to go get some work started. You guys wanna do lunch?

"Me and Garcia were going to go out for Chinese food. You guys wanna do that?"

The other 3 in the room nodded. Shortly after JJ left, Reid excused himself to go get started on his work as well. The 3 remaining in the room all exchanged glances. They had all decided to go to the gym last night to work out with JJ since they Reid wasn't going to the bar with them. But, when they got there, they saw that it was closed.

"So. We have 2 people who made up excuses why they couldn't go out last night" Emily said.

"And it's pretty obvious that Reid has a huge crush in JJ." Derek added.

"Excuse me you two, it's not nice to profile our friends." Garcia added in.

Derek looked over at her. "Come one baby girl, it's obvious."

"My dear chocolate thunder, what are you talking about."

Derek breathed in and folded his arms. "Their definitely screwing."

Penelope's mouth dropped open and she smacked him across the chest. "Derek Morgan! It is not nice to assume that!"

Emily laughed at the way they were behaving. "Well, I don't know about screwing, but there's definitely something going on that they're not telling us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~f~

JJ practically ran into Hotch's office. She was looked terrified, was pale, and had something clutched tight in her hands.

Hotch looked up at her and immediately was worried. "JJ, what's wrong?"

She said nothing but handed him a letter that must have been dropped of by the unit mail man. He opened it up and read it.

 _My dearest JJ,_

 _Its been a while. You probably thought you were safe after your team rescued you and Cruz. But you should know this: it's not over. It's far from over. There is more of us. And we are coming for you. And no matter what you and your team try to do, you won't be able to stop us. We_ _ **will**_ _get those codes. See you soon._

The letter wasn't signed. Hotch's eyes grew wider as he read it, but he kept up his hard shell. He looked at JJ. "I'll get the others. Meet us at the round table in 2 minutes.

And there's chapter 3. Hope everyone likes it so far! Please don't forget to review and favorite and follow if you like it! Until next time :)

-Hailey


	4. Scared

The team gathered around the round table, thinking they had a regular case. Then JJ walked in. It was obvious she had been crying, her eyes were puffy and red and she looked miserable. Reid was the first to notice. He got up to stand next to her but she sat down next to him. Hotch gathered everyone's attention.

"Alright, listen, because this is very important. Although this isn't necessarily a case for us because we weren't assigned to it, It's important. It needs to be kept secret. And I need everyone to work hard on it." He paused to look at everyone. "JJ got a very threatening letter this morning. Everyone started to get very worried. Hotch passed the letter around to let everyone read it. Emily was the first to speak.

"So what does this mean? That it's not over yet? I thought Hastings and Askari were a 2 man group?" Hotch spoke next.

"We thought they were, but it looks like there were more accomplices that we didn't know about. And now they're going after JJ again."

Reid spoke next, trying to begin the problem – solving process as fast as possible. "JJ, can you make a list of all the people you came in contact with while you were in Afghanistan?"

JJ shook her head and spoke with a cracked voice. "I don't think so, there were so many. The group was huge, and anybody could have found out that Matt and I have the codes."

Reid thought for a second. "Okay, what about the people that were closest to you and had access to that kind of information?"

JJ nodded this time. "I could probably do that. There was a decent amount, but not to many. I'm just worried that I'll forget someone."

Hotch spoke up. "Remember as much as you can. Any information can help. Garcia, take the letter back to the lab and get a fingerprinting and handwriting analysis on it. Rossi and Emily, search through the records of who was a the camp when JJ was there and could have had access to the information about who had the codes, we can compare it to JJ's list. If you can get pictures of the people, it may jog their memory. Reid and JJ go back to JJ's place any rest. When and if you're up to it, start on the profile. Remember everyone, this needs to be kept secret. It's not something we should be working on without orders, and we don't want to whoever's doing this to know what we know."

The team nodded and began to leave. Spencer started after JJ to talk to her and try to reassure her that they would protect her, but Hotch called him and asked him to stay.

"Yes Sir?"

"I will inform JJ of this, but I want you to stay at her house until we figure this out. You're her best friend, she's going to be more willing to stay with you. Her being alone is dangerous. They could get to her, if she doesn't get to herself first."

"Of course." This was great. It was the perfect cover story for Spencer sleeping at JJ's house from now on.

Reid left the office to find JJ, who was certainly crowded by people right now. He found her in her office, alone surprisingly, packing up her things. Just as Spencer walked in, Hotch came in behind him and asked JJ to speak with her. Spencer guessed it was probably about what they had just discussed. He waited a few minutes for JJ to come in. When she did she looked at him a sighed. She walked up to him and hugged him. He put his arms around her back.

"Everything's going to be okay, Jaydge. We're going to figure this out. JJ squeezed him tight.

"But what if we don't. What if they take me again? Spence, I don't think I can do it again. And what about Matt, are they going to take him to? It's not fair."

"I know it's not. But I promise, we're going to catch this bastard."

JJ collapsed into her bed when they got home around 1, and Spencer followed suit. It had been a long, stressful day, and they were both in need of a nap. Garcia had told them she couldn't get anything of the letter, no fingerprints, dandruff, nothing. And the hand writing looked like a man's, but she couldn't even be sure of that. The whole team felt like they were getting nowhere. JJ knew she had to make that list, but she wasn't feeling like doing much of anything.

Spencer wanted to sleep, he really did, but his brain was moving a mile a minute. He wished he could take all evil out of JJ's world. She was right, it wasn't fair. She was an amazing person, she didn't deserve this torture. All he could do was lie in bed and hold her, a do his best to work out the situation in his head. The last time this happened, everything had pointed to Askari and Hastings being a two-person team. There was no signs that they had any team mates. Nothing was making sense. Spencer sighed and lightly kissed the top of her head. He was going to have to sleep a little if and take some of the stress off of him if he wanted to think clearly.

They slept for a few hours and woke up just in time for Spencer to order them a pizza. Unfortunately, their nap left them unable to sleep, so they sat on the couch until 3 am watching TV until JJ saw that Spencer was asleep. She turned off the TV and shook him awake. "Come one Spence, it's time for bed." Spencer got up and grabbed her hand and walked her to the bedroom. The lay down next to each other, JJ with her back up to his chest. "Goodnight, Spencer." Spencer kissed her head. "Goodnight, Jaydge".


	5. Realization

JJ was doing well. Well, as good as could be expected from her. She didn't completely isolate herself from everyone, which was expected. She tried to be sociable, but she was missing the spark that came out when she spoke. Spencer was doing everything he could to help her. He slept in her bed with her every night, while she curled in to his arms. The team was doing their best to figure out who was targeting JJ, but they could only work on it when they weren't on a case, since helping JJ wasn't actually assigned to them. They didn't have much to go on, and everybody was feeling really down about it. The only evidence they had was the letter. JJ made a list of all of the people she met in Afghanistan, but none of them really stood out to her or the team. They were at a dead end.

JJ walked into the break room without the smile that she had before the letter, and even more so before Hastings. She smiled a weak smile at Reid, Morgan, Emily, and Rossi, who all exchanged a look of despair that she wasn't her usual self. After she got coffee, she was just about to sit down when Hotch walked in.

"We've got a case, round table in 5 minutes.

Everyone groaned. They really wanted to keep trying to help JJ, even if they had barely anything to go on. But, work was work, and they were going to have to go on this case, whether they wanted to or not. They all got up and headed to the round table.

"Our victims were abducted, raped, tortured, and killed. The unsub dumped them out in the public, but it doesn't look like he did it carefully. It appears as if he just drops them on the ground and leaves them. They were found lying in weird positions and all had cracks in their skulls where they would have hit the ground", Garcia told the team.

JJ and Reid sat next to each other, and Reid felt her shiver. This case was really going to mess with her head. He knew it was all too familiar to her.

"So, where are we travelling to this week?" Emily asked.

"Nevada. Las Vegas, specifically." Hotch said. The team shared a grin, making innuendos at what could happen in Vegas, and the fact that they were going to have lots of fun there. At least they THOUGHT they were. "Not too fast. There will be no gambling, or… any other things. This is strictly professional." The team all sighed, hoping to have at least a little fun in a grim situation. Even JJ was looking forward to getting a break.

"Wheels up in 30."

Spencer made sure to catch JJ in her office before she left. He walked in to her typing at her computer, very focused on what she was doing. She was always working so hard on what she was doing. Reid couldn't help but think she was amazing.

"Hey Jaydge, you got a minute?"

JJ looked up at her computer with a start, not even noticing that he had walked in. "Yeah, sure Spence, whats up?"

Reid took a deep breath. He had to be careful how he put this so he didn't offend her. "JJ, your one of the strongest people I know. You can get through almost anything." He paused. "But this case is a lot like yours JJ. Are you sure you want to get involved? I mean, you would have to come with us because you can't be here alone, but maybe you don't involve yourself with the case? It could really mess with your head."

JJ sighed. She had figured that Spencer was going to bring this up. And she wasn't mad at him for it, she knew it was just because he cared.

"I can do it Spence. I'll be fine, it will make me feel better if I know that I contributed to saving other people that would have had to go through the same thing."

"Okay. Just promise me you'll tell me if it starts bothering you. I don't want it to hurt you, Jaydge."

JJ was touched by his words. She got up, walked around her desk, and pulled him into a hug. After a few seconds, she lifted her head off of her shoulder and stared into his gorgeous brown eyes. He stared back at her, and his eyes flickered to her lips. He began to lean in when –

"JJ! Did I leave my bag in your car the other night? I can't find it."

 _Shit_.

JJ quickly pulled away from Spencer before Emily could walk in to her office. She jumped away from him and him in the other direction. Emily walked in and paid no attention to Spencer. JJ spoke up.

"I think it' sin my trunk, Em."

Emily nodded. "Yeah, that's where I thought it was. Can you take me down? I don't know where you parked."

JJ grabbed her keys. "Yeah, I'll walk you down. Spence, I'll meet you on the plane."

Reid smiled and nodded as JJ left. He spent the next few minutes trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

JJ's mind was also reeling. She couldn't believe that had just happened. She hadn't noticed the signs until now; how close they were, how sweet he always was to her. They were best friends and always were, she didn't remember her life before him. He was the only one that could offer her comfort when she was going through the toughest time in her life, and he was willing to change his life justso she would be able to sleep at night. She had always felt comfort when he hugged her, and he always seened to know exactly what to say and do to make her feel better. Maybe he had a crush on her? She wasn't sure, but she did know one thing. She was in love with Spencer Reid.

A/N - And theres chapter 5! So glad you guys have been enjoying it so far. Let me know what you think! Until next time lovelies :)

-Hailey


	6. Revelation

The plane ride was excruciatingly long, especially for JJ and Reid, whose minds were both reeling from what had happened in JJ's office that afternoon. They couldn't wait to land and just go to sleep and forget about everything that happened. It's not like they would ever work; it was against BAU rules; Hotch would no doubt be pissed.

But JJ couldn't help but wonder. She had never really seen Spencer like that; he was her best friend. But once the thought had crossed her mind, she could get it out. He was as good as they got; smart, sweet, and even once in a while funny. JJ knew she couldn't think like this; nothing but bad would come from it. 'But damn,' she thought, 'in different circumstances, maybe…"

The plane landed with a thud, bringing her out of her daydreams. She sighed, closed the book she had been trying to read, reached up into the compartment above her to get her bag, and made her way off of the jet behind Emily.

Spence had watched JJ staring at the book in her lap. But her eyes weren't like she was reading it. They would dart back and forth, more like she was thinking then slowly following the words on the page. In approximately 4 minutes, she hadn't turned the page, and JJ was the fastest reader in the plane besides Spencer. When the jet landed, it was like someone had woken her out of a sleep. She sighed, and began to get off the jet.

Spencer had been thinking too. What had happened in her office was something he would never have imagined in a million years. He had always had a thing for JJ, but he never pursued, in fear that she wouldn't feel the same. Which she probably didn't. Regardless, she had started to lean in too. Was it his imagination? No, it definitely wasn't. Either way, the whole thing was going to make for a very awkward conversation the next time the two talked.

When they got to the hotel, Hotch gave the team their key cards for their hotel rooms. "Morgan and Rossi, you'll be rooming with together. And, because of our special situation," he added, glancing up at JJ, who felt nauseous for half a second, "Emily, you're staying with me, and JJ and Reid will be rooming together.

"I can take care of JJ, why can't I just stay with her like we normally do?" Emily asked, slightly offended. They team had taken up a schedule of who roomed with who; Morgan and Spencer, Hotch and Rossi, JJ and Emily.

Hotch shot her a glare that told her to keep her mouth shut. After everyone had started to make their way to their rooms, Hotch pulled Emily aside.

"I know very well that you can take care of her. But JJ is a very independent woman. You know how she'll feel if she starts to think we're all taking turns babysitting her. Right now, leaving her to Reid will keep her happy, and she won't fall into depression induced by overcoming fear. You know how serious this is, and we have to keep her head above the water. Stability is the best thing for her right now.

Emily sighed. He was right. She was going to have to get over it and move on. Besides, how bad could rooming with Hotch possibly be?

JJ sat her stuff on the bed and collapsed next to it. It had been a long day. And she couldn't wait to get some sleep, despite the fact that she knew she would have to get up early the next day to start working on their case. She looked over at Spencer next to her, reading a book. She would have to address everything sooner or later; she might as well do it now.

Before she had gained the nerve to say anything, Spencer spoke.

"Hey Jaydge, I'm hungry. You wanna order a pizza?"

JJ happily took this opportunity to avoid the conversation she knew she was going to have to have with him.

"Yeah, pizza sounds good. I'm starving."

Spencer looked over at her. "Okay. What do you want on it?"

JJ sat up and shrugged. "I don't care, as long as there's no fish on it." JJ had a look of disgust plastered on her face, making Spencer laugh.

"Okay, point taken." He went over to the phone and started ordering the pizza, while JJ mentally prepared herself for what she was going to say when he hung up.

He put down the phone and JJ looked over at him. She sat on the edge of her bed, facing him.

"Spence, we've got to talk." Spencer sighed and sat down next to her on the bed. He knew where this was going.

"Yeah, I figured we would. Jay, before you say anything, I just want you to know that I don't regret a thing, and if anything would have happened had Emily not come in," he looked at her. "I wouldn't have regretted that either."

She looked at him, surprise evident on her face. Then a look of confusion. Spencer stared at her.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

JJ stared into his eyes. "No. Because I don't regret anything either. And I wouldn't have."

Spencer saw his opportunity and went for it. He slowly leaned in and kissed her, terrified at what she might do. He felt his heart flutter when she started to kiss him back. His hands went to her waist, pulling her close to him, while her heads wound around his neck. The kiss that started out soft eventually got a lot needier, only stopping when they both needed air. They looked at each other for a few seconds, that felt like an eternity.

"Wow" JJ breathed. Spencer chuckled a little.

"What?" he questioned.

"I've been missing out on a lot, and I mean A LOT." They both laughed and lay down, JJ turning the light off on the table beside her bed. JJ fell asleep in Spencer's arms.

The next morning JJ and Reid went down to the café downstairs, seeing Emily sitting by herself at one of the tables. JJ quickly went over to the counter, ordered an iced coffee, and held her hands against it, all while managing to stay out of Emily's view. After holding the cup for about a minute until her hands hurt from the cold and telling Spencer that this was going to be funny and to just watch, she put the cup on an empty table and quickly walked up behind Emily. She put her freezing hands on Emily's cheeks, and Emily jumped and squealed, attracting the attention of the entire café. JJ tried to control her laughs as she sat down across from Emily with Spencer next to her.

"JJ, you are the biggest asshole," Emily said with a smile.

JJ smiled. That was the revenge for making her miss the kiss with Spencer yesterday afternoon. Had she known he was THAT good at kissing, she might have just done it anyway.

The three exchanged small talk for a few minutes before Rossi and Morgan joined them, followed a few minutes after by their unit chief. Morgan looked up at Hotch, who was just beginning to sit down next to them.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Morgan beamed. Hotch glared at him.

"Don't act surprised," Rossi chimed in, "he's never been a morning person." Hotch just glanced around the table, and then back down at the mug of coffee, he had bought before he sat down.

"Never have, never will be." The team all laughed before finishing up and heading to the dump site for the first body. JJ sighed. It was going to be a long say before her and Reid could get back to the hotel and have some time to spend together. She would practically be counting the minutes.

A/N Hi guys! This is the longest chapter yet! Idk, I really like this chapter. I'm kinda proud of it. Tell me what you guys think! I have 1,000 reads right now and I honestly don't know what to do with myself, that's CRAZY! Thank you guys so much! Until next time :)

-Hailey


	7. The Second Letter

The team had hit a dead end. They had no clue who this guy was, and why he was hurting all all these women. Spencer made a point to keep an eye on JJ. He was fairly positive that this case was going to mess with her head. She was still healing mentally from everything that had happened to her, and this case was going to dig up old memories she had spent 4 long months trying so desperately to bury.

Although, Spencer couldn't believe how well she was holding up. He knew how strong she was, he always had, but she was barely even acknowledging the cases' relation to her own experiences. There was only one point where JJ had been visibly bothered by it. It was one she had seen one of the victims; she had been badly beaten, and there were marks on her wrists showing that she had been held captive using restraints. JJ had calmly walked away and taken a second to lean against the SUV and take some deep breaths. Before Spencer could sneak his way out of the conversation and go check on her, she was back and continuing her work like normal.

Emily looked over to JJ and squinted her eyes at her, asking her if she was okay. JJ was like a sister to her, and she was worried. She didn't want JJ to suffer. JJ smiled at her and nodded her head to say that she was okay, and the both of them went back to their work. After a long day of everyone being frustrated by the stagnant state of the case, they all retreated back to the hotel early, planning to meet for dinner in a few hours. JJ was anxious to get back to the hotel to see Spencer. As independent as she was, she had begun to feel a certain need to be around him.

They had been in 2 different SUV's to get home, and JJ's arrived first. She walked into her room and went to the bathroom. She took her hair out and ran her fingers through it, enjoying the feeling. She brushed it out and parted it down the middle like she usually did. Than she changed into a spaghetti strap tank top and shorts. They weren't to showy, but they weren't exactly something she would wear if she had company. She hoped Spence wouldn't mind, she was really comfortable. Just as she began to take her earrings out, Spencer walked in.

"Hey Spence" she said, not turning her head from the mirror. She set the left earring on the dresser and began to pull out the right one.

Spencer looked her up and down. He definitely could get used to coming back to this. "Hey Jaydge. There was mail for you in the lobby. They said someone dropped it off." JJ walked over and took her mail from him. She shuffled through it, seeing that there were 2 enveloped. She peeled open the first one, seeing that it was from her mom. _"Hey Jen, just wanted to see how your doing. I know you always say to call, but you know I like to write. Hope to see you soon. Love, Mom."_ JJ smiled and placed the letter on the bed, mentally reminding herself to call her mom and thank her. Then she looked at the next envelope. It was blank, except for the cursive writing of her name in the middle. She opened it, wondering what it could be" _To the lovely Jennifer,_

 _You thought telling your team would help you, huh? Well, sorry to be the one to tell you, but it won't help. We've already made our plans according to them trying to meddle in our business. Don't think you're safe sweetheart. See you soon."_

JJ wasn't even sure she was standing anymore. She stumbled back onto the bed, barely able to control herself, supporting her body with one hand, the other holding the letter. He eyes were wide and beginning to become bloodshot. Spencer watched all of this unfold.

"Jay, is everything alright?". When she didn't answer, he walked over and slowly took the letter out of her hand and read it. Fear took over his eyes. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up.

"Hotch. Now." With that, he rushed her out of the room and down the hall towards the Unit Chief's room.

"Get the rest of the team in here, we need to all look at this. It's the second one; we need to take this more seriously now."

The rest of the team slowly piled in, wondering what had made Hotch gather them when they were all going to meet for dinner in a few hours anyway. They figured that it had to be serious. Morgan was the first to speak after seeing JJ's tear-stained face.

"Hotch, what's going on? Is everything okay?" He asked, flicking his eyes to JJ.

"No. JJ got another letter. I know that I said this wasn't officially a case, but because we have more than one thing to go on, I'm confident that the Bureau will allow me to make this an official case. That being said, for now we're going to start working on this. Tomorrow, we need to do our best to make headway on the case here in Las Vegas so we can officially move to JJ's and spend more time on it. Everybody needs to do their best work, we've got a lot on our plate right now, and I need everyone's attention. The team nodded and called Garcia to begin working on JJ's case.

"Okay, JJ you said earlier that you were the only woman in your group, right? So we can base our profile off of that, right?" Rossi asked. JJ nodded.

"So now we have to figure out who was teamed up with Askari and Hastings" Emily pointed out. "The two of them used brawn rather than brains to get what they wanted, so can we assume the rest of their team is doing the same?"

Reid nodded. "Garcia, can you cross reference the names of people in JJ's group with those between 20 and 35 years old?"

"Absolutely my sweet" Garcia began to type away at her computers. "That leaves 87 people. Anything else?" The team sat and thought and couldn't come up with anything. Hotch spoke next.

"Not today Garcia. I think it's safe to say that we are all mentally exhausted. We'll call if we think of anything else.

"Okee dokee. Be safe you guys. Sending love your way." Garcia signed off. Hotch dismissed the team and said that they could do dinner another night, everyone needed to get some sleep so they could close their Las Vegas case as soon as possible. Everyone left, their stress and exhaustion levels high.

 _A/N - Here's chapter 7 you guys! I'm not sure why, but it was hard to right, that's why it kinda late. I've been trying to get into the routine of posting a chapter every 3 days, but forgive me if i deviate. There's a lot of stuff I want to do with this story, so I'm sorting it out according to how I want it to go. I hope you guys are liking it so far, let me know in the reviews. Until next time :)_

 _-Hailey_


	8. Old Friends

JJ was completely checked out. She was watching her life fall apart in front of her. Her whole life, she had everything planned. She was going to go to college, get a good job that she liked, find someone to marry, have kids, and have an all around fulfilling life. She never planned to be an FBI agent, but she had accepted that because she loved it so much. What she couldn't accept was having a group of people targeting her for Federally-secured information. She would have to talk to Matt and see if he had been getting any threats. When she got back to the hotel room, she picked u the phone and dialed his number. It rang twice before he answered.

"JJ? Is this really you? I was beginning to think I would never talk to you again." JJ smiled. Matt was always easy to talk to.

"It's great to talk to you Matt." She hesitate. By the way he answered, it didn't sound like anyone was targeting him. But she had to ask. "Matt, I have a serious question for you." She could practically see Matt's forehead wrinkling up in confusion when he didn't say anything.

"Yeah, of course you can JJ, anything for you. Are you okay?" JJ smiled at how caring he was.

"Matt, I've been getting threatening letters from someone claiming to be a past ally to Hastings and Askari. Matt, the letters suggest that their going to kidnap us again. Have you gotten an letters or has anything strange happened to you in the past 2 weeks?" Between her pacing and talking, she noticed that Spencer was on the bed listening. She smiled lightly at him, acknowledging his presence, and went back to the conversation.

"No JJ, I haven't gotten anything or seen something unusual. JJ, are you sure these letters are real?"

"Positive. They know things that only people in that group would know. " She paused and took a deep breath. Matt, I think you need to come with us for a while. The case in under investigation, and your very much involved, even if he hasn't specifically contacted you yet. We have to put our heads together Matt, and keep an eye out for each other. We have to figure out whats going on before something bad happens again. You had my back the first time, I'll have yours this time." Spencer slightly frowned at this, not willing to admit to himself it was jealousy.

"Ill be there whenever you want me there Jay." JJ felt relief that he didn't argue.

"Okay Matt. I'll let you know when. I should probably let Hotch know. I kind of just came up with that on my own." JJ laughed. Spencer could hear Matt laugh on the other end of the phone and he rolled his eyes. JJ hung the phone up and dropped onto the bed next to Spencer, obviously exhausted and stressed. Spencer lay down next to her and gathered her into his arms. She sighed.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this Spencer. This is all stressing me out so much. I can't go through what happened the first time again." He saw tears start to fall form her eyes. "I won't live through it a second time Spence. I honestly don't know how I lived through it the first time. I still can't think about it without going into a full blown panic attack. I can't do it again Spence. If you guys hadn't gotten me when you did, I would have died. And for a few weeks after it all, I'd wished a had. It's all just way to much." She was balling her eyes out into his chest. He took a deep breath, coordinating what he was going to say next.

"I know you don't know it Jay, but your so strong. Truly. I know it hurts. I know your terrified. But even if it doesn't seem like it, your wounds are still very fresh. 4 months isn't a long time. It will all get better, I promise. I know your tired of fighting, but if anyone can get through this, its you. You've seen so much pain in your life Jay, there's nothing you can't do." He ended and pulled her closer, desperately wanting to make her better.

"But I can't Spence, that's the problem. I'm not strong enough to handle this. They're going to win."

"The hell they are. I won't let hem hurt you Jaydge. I promise." He paused and smiled, "Besides, I've seen you kick criminal ass before, and their dumb to think they can fight you. You probably don't know this, but we had a case years ago, and you had made up in your head how to fix it, but it involved you being at risk. When Hotch told me, I went to leave his office. When he asked me where I was going, I said that I was going to stop you from possibly hurting yourself. He looked at me, laughed, and said, and I quote; "You think you're going to convince Jennifer Jareau to not do something she has her mind set to? Your brave. She's not going to change her mind, in fact, she might kick your ass for trying to." JJ laughed.

"Thats sweet that you were worried about me. But he was right, I would have kicked your ass." Spencer laughed at her.

"Probably. But we have to get to bed, we've got a case to finish in the morning, and you have to talk to Hotch about _him_ coming to tag along with us. JJ stared up at him, surprise evident on her face.

"Spencer? _Him_?" Spence looked down at her.

"Yeah, why?" JJ laughed at his oblivion.

"Your jealous! Spence, come on now. I told you, I don't regret a thing that we've done. There's nothing to worry about." Spencer smiled down at her.

"Okay."

 _A/N- Hey guys, I know this one is kind of boring, but I had to get the story moving, and I wanted to get a chapter up for you guys. Plus, its 1 am and I'm literally exhausted! The good news is, I got thrown from my horse (For the 4th time this year, I swear he spooks at every little thing) and my whole body is sore, so lots of time to sit around and type. Until next time you guys 3_

 _\- Hailey_


	9. Matt's Arrival

Chapter 9

Matt was due to land in an hour. Spencer desperately hoped that Matt being here to talk to JJ would help boost her hopes up a bit, and give her the confidence she needed to keep her head above water in the whole situation. Spencer wouldn't be able to live with himself if something had happened to her or she hurt herself. _'Not again'_ , he thought. Not after he almost lost her to her own head once before.

 _Spencer walked up to JJ's apartment door and knocked. He had to make sure that she was okay. He knew how hard she was taking everything that happened to her. When she didn't answer, he got a little worried. She had never gone to the point of completely ignoring the door. She would at least call out that she didn't feel like talking. He picked the lock to the door and walked in, scanning the room, just in time to see JJ lift the bottle of pills above her head and dumped them into her mouth._

 _He lounged across the room and grabbed her, banging on her back to make her spit the pills out. She looked up at him terrified, not realizing that he had been there and witnessed what she had attempted. He started yelling._

 _"JJ! How many did you swallow?! How many?!" He screamed and shook her shoulders, not enough to hurt her but enough to get her attention. She started balling and shook her head side to side, her head tilted down and eyes closed._

 _"None," she sobbed as a whisper, "I didn't… I spit them out when you scared me… I…" She couldn't continue to speak; she just collapsed against the wall and slid down in, sitting upright in the fetal position with her head buried in her hands. Spencer's heart broke in 2 at the sight; he sat down next to her and pulled her body into his lap and held her. After sitting like that for what seemed like hours but must have only been minutes, he decided the break the silence._

 _"JJ… why? Why didn't you call me? I thought you understood that I would always be there for you… why would you do that? Do you understand what that would have done to everyone else? To the team? To me?"_

 _JJ looked up at him. "Spence, I can't live with this pain. I can't do it. I see him wherever I look. I can't get him out of my head. He's haunting me. I don't want to live like this anymore. I just… I want to be done."_

 _"You can't be done Jay, you can't. You are the without a doubt the strongest, most badass woman I know. You will get through this."_

That night Spencer had slept on JJ's sofa, and many nights after that. He had practically forced her into counselling, and didn't leave until he knew she was better. He couldn't let that happen again. His timing might not be as good a second time around.

JJ and Spencer picked up Matt at the airport, everyone getting each other like old friends would, JJ hugging him a second or two longer than Spencer would have liked. He wasn't exactly thrilled that Matt was here, but if anything he hoped that the 2 of them together would make JJ stronger.

The team had decided that they wouldn't bombard Matt with the grave situation he was in until he had settled himself, so the team had decided to spend the first full day that Matt was there at the beach. Specifically because it was JJ's favorite place and they hoped it would bring down her nerves a bit. They had packed and driven Derek's old Jeep Wrangler onto a remote beach in southern California. They all appreciated being able to go the beach without people crowding all around them. Spencer especially enjoyed going being able to JJ in her light green 2 piece bathing suit, although he rarely got to see her in it because Rossi, Morgan, and her spent 99% of their time in the water, most of that time dragging Spencer with them.

"JJ, I hate the ocean, it's so dirty!"

"Awwwww, come on Spence, it's fun! Come swim with us. I'll give you $20 bucks if you can swim out farther then me." Spencer hesitantly agreed, but lost when they got about a half a mile out and JJ wanted to keep going. They both sat in waded in the water, far from the teams view. Then they heard someone calling for them in the distance towards the beach.

"JJ! Spencer!" It was Morgan. "We're going to go get pizza and bring it back, we'll be back in 15 minutes! Don't get lost at sea!" JJ smiled and waved, signaling that she understood him. The team piled into the jeep and pulled out. JJ turned to Reid.

"Do you wanna head back?" Reid smiled at her and shook his head. "Not yet." He pulled her close to him and kissed her lightly, and she smiled into his lips. After a short make out session, they headed back to the beach. JJ walked out onto the shore in front of them, and Spencer caught up to her and pulled her back lightly by her hips, her back against his chest. He kissed her passionately, before she surprised him by pushing him backwards into the water, and running away laughing, just as Morgan and the rest of the team returned. Reid chased her and grabbed her picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder, walking into the water until it was up to the bottom of his shoulders. His stood for a second. JJ was confused.

"Spencer, what are yo-"

Spencer dropped her in the water and swam quickly back to shore, turning around just in time to see her pop out of the water, coughing and laughing at the same time. She shot him the finger, making him laugh with her. She would have chased him out, but Emily and Garcia finally got in the water with her, so she decided to stay in, making herself a promise to continue everything later on. Spencer just smiled at her from the shore. Morgan walked up next to him.

"She's pretty awesome, huh?"

"Yeah.", Spencer answered, still smiling.

"Not to mention gorgeous."

"Yeah.", Smiling still.

"It's good that you guys are finally together. You've been in love with her for years."

"Yeah… wait, what?" Morgan smiled at him. Spencer was dumbfounded. "How long have you known."

"Since I've noticed that when your staring at her and she catches your eyes, you don't turn away and pretend you weren't looking like you always used to do."

Morgan knew how he felt about her all these years? Maybe he wasn't as good at hiding it as he thought. He could only smile. "I've really never been happier. I love her so much." Morgan smiled.

"I know you do kid, I know you do."

 _A/n - Hey everyone! I hope you like this chapter :) The reviews you guys are leaving are literally going to make me cry. The support this story has is amazing. While I can't list all of you that left nice reviews or PM'd me, I'd like to thank a few that really made me smile. Sazzita, Tannerrose5, and the guest that has left a couple of reviews, you guys are awesome,and without your feedback this story probably wouldn't have even made it this far. I want to make something of this story, so every time you guys leave me such positive reviews, it gives me just a little more hope that I can do this. Thank you guys for everything, you have no clue what it means to me :) Until next time!_

 _-Hailey_

 _P.S., get ready, because this story is about to take a hell of a ride ;)_


	10. The Argument

The next few weeks were rough for JJ. It seemed that every day she got worse. When she was at work, it seemed like she was just going to the motions. She wasn't interested in talking to anyone, expect for occasionally talking to Emily or Spence. The team got called to Maine for a case, and had wrapped it up after spending a week and a half on it. They had hit dead end after dead end, and everyone was ready to go home a cool down. They had to spend one more day in Maine making sure everything was well, and would leave the next day. JJ and Spencer woke up early.

Spencer smiled at the sight of JJ's gorgeous eyes opening for the first time that day, as she slowly left sleep and entered the real world. They sat in silence for a minute before Spencer spoke, hoping to be able to gauge if it would be a good day for JJ, seeing as she hadn't had one in weeks. "Good morning".

JJ looked up at him, with a frown already on her face. "Morning" she said, then got up and began to get dressed. Spencer decided to prod a little.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine" JJ mumbled. Spencer sighed.

"Come one Jay, talk to me." Spencer said as he threw his clothes on quickly.

"I did." JJ responded with a little bit of attitude.

"Damn if I thought today would be different." Spencer mumbled to himself, but JJ heard him.

"If you have something to say, then just say it! Don't sit there and pretend that I can't hear you! What did I do now?!" JJ yelled with a sudden outburst.

"For god sakes JJ, it's time to move on!" Spencer yelled at JJ from the opposite end of their hotel room, finally snapping. Their case had been a long one, and everyone was high strung, making the situation 10 times worse than what it would be. "You have to come back to Earth! I understand what happened hurt you JJ, really I do, but come one! It was months ago! Its time get your head back into it! Lately you haven't been you! You've been checked out and nobody knows what to do! You're a walking zombie! You're supposed to be strong and independent, what the hell happened?!"

JJ looked at him with a glare that could kill. He knew he had struck a nerve; she was positively pissed. She screamed back at him. "Are you fucking KIDDING ME?! You can't be serious! You understand?! Do you Spence? Enlighten me on how to hell you think you understand what I'm going through right now, because I'm pretty damn curious."

"Newsflash JJ, your aren't the only one on this team that's been abducted and tortured! I went through hell to when Tobias had me, but I got through it. Now it's your turn to move on."

If JJ hadn't been angry before, she was steaming now. "You're joking, right?! Are you a fucking physco?!" She turned her head away from him and put her hands on top of her head with her elbows out, then turned around and looked at the floor beneath his eyes. She started calmly, desperately trying to get her point across. "Spencer, after you were rescued, you got the pleasure of looking your monster in the eyes and killing him. He didn't come back after you in another form. Your threat ended. But for me, my monster is still hunting me. Unlike your monster, mine won't go away." She looked up at him and started to speak through gritted teeth, still being thoroughly pissed at him. "So no, you don't understand. You got to heal. I'm still trying to dodge bullets to stay alive. Not to mention that your monster was a serial killer from a small town, and my monster is half of the fucking Middle East terrorists!"

"But does it really matter?!" Spencer yelled back. He knew she had a good point, but he wasn't about to let her know that. "We were both scared. And we both got out alive. It's time to move on!"

JJ leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe how insensitive he was being. "Yeah, of course, except I don't know if I'm going to get out alive" she said quietly, almost like she was talking to herself. She walked away from the wall and looked at him. "I'm leaving. I'll be back in 25 minutes to get dressed, and I highly suggest you not be in here." She said and headed towards the door.

"No." Spencer stopped her. "I'll leave. I'm already dressed anyway. So just stay here. There's no damn point in me staying." He said as he walked out the door and slammed it. JJ just fell on to the bed and through her hand over her face, tears already streaming down her face.

Emily had been walking past they're room when it all started, and stayed in front of their door to eavesdrop. She saw Spencer come out and stand against the door, so she walked over to him.

"Damn, I knew you guys both had a thing for each other, but I thought you were too shy to do anything."

Spencer sighed. So much for keeping their relationship on the down low. "Well it looks like at this point it would have been helpful if I hadn't." Emily sighed. She knew the two of them needed to be together.

"Well why don't we go down to the lobby, get some coffee, and you can tell Mama Emily all about it. Emily said as she put a hand over Spencer's shoulder and led him to the elevator.

After they got their coffee, Spencer explained everything from kissing JJ to their fight this morning, since Emily didn't hear all of it. When he was finished, he looked up at her expectantly. She just stared back at him, confused.

"Umm… Reid, do you know what today is?" Spencer looked at her like she was an idiot.

"It's Wednesday, now can we get to the part where you tell me what to do?" He said with very little patience. JJ had already made him angry this morning, and he just wanted answers.

"Spencer… today is the 15th anniversary off JJ's sister's suicide." Spencer's head dropped into his hands. He had forgotten about that. He felt like an ass.

"Shit. I really screwed up Emily."

Emily nodded. "Yeah. You did." She paused and sighed. "It affects her differently every year. She told me 4 years ago, when I walked into her office and she was balling her eyes out. The next year, she was much better, she managed to compose herself. And the year after that, she had to call out of work because it made her feel sick just thinking about it. And last year… was bad. She had a panic attack; I had to take her to the hospital." She paused to look at Reid, who looked like her words were a stab in the chest. "Her sister and her were really close; I can't imagine what she must be going through, combined with everything that's happening to her now…" Emily paused. "She needs you right now. She needs you to understand that she's going to have a lot of bad days, but it will get better. I'm sure once we figure out all of this terrorist stuff, it'll get better. She's strong Spencer, but she's also human."

Spencer sighed. He needed to fix this, but he couldn't just go up and talk to her now. She would need her space. He looked back up at Emily. "Thanks Emily. For everything." Emily smiled at him. And they both headed back up to their rooms. Little did he know, JJ wasn't going to let him off that easy.

The ride to the sheriff office that morning had been quite. JJ and Spencer sat in the back, with Morgan driving and Emily in the passenger's seat. JJ looked out the window the whole time, while Spencer desperately tried to make eye contact with her. He had tried to talk to her this morning after she came down, but she was having none of it. She wasn't going to just forgive him for everything he did, and she didn't want to have anything to do with him at the time being. The radio was playing, and the song changed.

 _I'm so tired of being here_

 _Suppressed by all my childish fears_

 _And if you have to leave_

 _I wish that you would just leave_

 _You're presence still lingers here_

 _And it won't leave me alone_

JJ's breathe hitched in her throat, catching Spencer's attention. He turned to look at her, worry plastered on his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, catching the attention of Emily and making Morgan look in his rearview mirror at her. She nodded and looked back out the window, but Spencer kept looking at her. After a few seconds of watching and seeing her face pale, he caught on. "Pull over" he said quickly and with urgency. The SUV came to a stop in the shoulder, and JJ jumped out and went to the back right tire of the car. Spencer jumped out his side and ran to her to grab her hair just before she vomited. He rubbed her back, whispering to her to calm her down. When she finished, she leaned against the car, and Spencer pulled her to the trunk and sat her down on the back bumper, holding her as she cried.

"That was her favorite song. She listened to it all the time." JJ paused and tried to calm herself down to the point where she could at least talk. "The day she… you know… she came into my room and asked me to listen to it with her. She said it was important. It was the last thing we ever did together." JJ was back to balling again, clinging to Spencer for dear life.

"It's okay, Jaydge. It'll all get better." JJ nodded and walked to get back in the car, not wanting to make a bigger scene than she already had. Once she and Spencer got back in the car, Morgan started driving again, not saying anything about what happened, but moving to turn off the radio. Although before her could, JJ stopped him.

"No, don't. Please." JJ begged. Morgan nodded and left it on.

 _A/N - Hey guys! So a little but of drama there, but don't worry it will get better, eventually... But anyway, 10 chapters! I've proved my laziness wrong! Tell me in the comments how you fell about this chapter; I wrote it in a spark of creativity the other night without any plans to use it soon, but I liked t and I didn't want to forget about it. I just feel like it may have been a little to soon in their relationship, I don't like to rush things. However, we will be getting more into they're relationship quite soon, because I feel like I've left that area a little lacking. Alright guys, until next time :)_

 _-Hailey_


	11. Going Home

The team checked in with the coroner and was told that the local police were able to wrap up. Grateful for the chance to finally go home, they left to go to the hotel and pack up. Spencer figured it was probably the best chance he would have to talk to JJ. He thought that he had made headway in making up with her after the incident this morning, but she had still ignored him all day.

When he walked in, JJ was throwing the last of her stuff in a bag, looking exhausted and irritated. Spencer's shoulders fell. He knew this wasn't going to be easy beforehand because of her stubborn nature, but her being upset would make it even worse.

"Hey Jaydge, do you need help?"

JJ knew that she was being quite the bitch lately, and that she needed to calm herself down. But she couldn't help the impatience she had with him at the moment. After years, they had finally just admitted their feelings for each other, and he had to go and act like he did this morning. But she brushed that to the side and did her best to be civil with him.

"No, I think I'm good. Ready to get the hell out of here and go home." She said with a half-smile.

"Me too." Spencer paused, thinking about how he wanted to bring this up. "Jay, can we talk?"

JJ had a feeling that was coming. She sat and the bed and looked at the floor, nodding.

"JJ, I'm so sorry. I was so inconsiderate of how you must be feeling today, and everything that's going on. I promise I never meant to hurt you. I really care about you JJ, and I don't want you to hate me, even though at this point you should. I said horrible things to you this morning that should never be forgiven."

JJ jumped off the bed and threw her arms around him. "Spencer, I could never hate you. I know you didn't mean what you said this morning. And in all honesty, I deserved it. I've been a real bitch to everyone lately. It's not this team's fault that all this had happened. I'm sorry." Spencer pulled her closer to him.

"Don't you dare say sorry. You're going through a ton of stuff right now. No one on this team can understand how you feel right now. I promise you, I will be here for you through all of it. I won't let them hurt you."

The two of them stood in silence for a few seconds, Spencer running his hand up and down her back, having realized how much he missed contact with her. JJ spoke up.

"Spence, what are we?" She asked, still not being sure what kind of relationship they had.

"Well, I'd like to think of you as my girlfriend Jay, but we're whatever you want us to be." JJ smiled.

"I'd like that, Spence." She said, then looked up and kissed him.

JJ sat at her laptop wrapping up a case report. The team had been slammed with case after case lately, and her reports were really piling up. She had even skipped out on lunch with Penelope to try and get caught up. Emily walked into her office with a smile on her face.

"JJ, guess what?" She said, but JJ didn't look up from what she was typing.

"Hmm?" Emily laughed at how enthralled she was with her work.

"Hotch said we get this week off for thanksgiving, as long as we can finish all of our case reports by the end of tomorrow!" This time JJ looked up.

"There _is_ a god!" She said with pretend wonder in her eyes. Emily laughed, just as Reid walked in.

"What's so funny?" He asked, having heard Emily. Emily smiled, happy to see that her favorite new couple had made up.

"Hotch said we can have the week of thanksgiving off if we finish our case reports by the end of tomorrow." JJ answered. Spencer smiled at the thought of a break. He wondered what JJ's plans were.

"That's great. I think we all could use a break at this point." The girls nodded, not being able to agree more.

Spencer and JJ sat cuddled on JJ's couch that night watching TV. They had both stayed late at work to try and finish a decent amount of their reports, so they didn't have to worry about rushing the next day.

"JJ, what are you doing for thanksgiving?" Spencer asked her.

"Well, my mom invited me to come to Pennsylvania and spend it with her, and I originally told her no because of work. But now I think I'll go." She paused and looked up at him. "You should come." She knew he had no family here, and she wanted to introduce him to her family.

"I don't know Jay… I don't want to intrude or anything. JJ smiled at him.

"Spence, you're coming." Spencer couldn't help but smile.

"Okay"

"Jennifer! You're here!" JJ's mom exclaimed as she opened the door to see her daughter and another young man. She grabbed her daughter and pulled her into a hug.

"Hi mom" JJ said as she smiled and hugged her mom back. She looked over at Spence. "Mom, this is my boyfriend, Spencer. We work at the BAU together. JJ's mom smiled at him.

"It's great to meet you Spencer, I'm Sandy. Glad to see that my daughter has finally decided to open up to something outside of work." JJ's eyes widened slightly.

"Mom!" Spencer and Sandy laughed at her expense. Then, a younger girl walked into the room, followed by an older man. When she saw JJ, she ran to her with a huge smile on her face. "Aunt Jen!"

JJ picked her up and held her for a few seconds before putting her down. "Lexi! You've gotten so big! How old are you now?" Lexi blushed.

"I'm 13 now." JJ smiled at her niece. The 2 had always been close, and she missed seeing her.

"Yeah, 13 going on 30. And here I was thinking YOU were full of attitude when we were teenagers. How you doing, little sis?" JJ rolled her eyes at her brother's name for her.

"I'm good, Jason. How about you? Where's Kristen?"

"She's in with Avery making food. I've never seen a 2 year old so obsessed with cooking." He paused and looked at Spencer. "Who's this?" JJ smiled up at Spence.

"This is my boyfriend, Spencer." Jason reached out to shake his hand. He knew his sister was picky about men, and that this one would have to be a good one.

"Well, I'm sure you guys have to unpack and are probably exhausted from the drive. Jennifer, are you okay with staying in your old room? Jason, Kristen, and the kids are taking up the guest rooms." JJ nodded her head.

"Yeah that's fine."

JJ's room was in the back of the house, overlooking the huge backyard and the family farm. Spencer glanced out the window, and then looked at JJ. "I didn't know you grew up on a farm." JJ looked at him and smiled at the memories.

"Yeah. As much as I hated it then, I kind of miss it now." She walked over to the window next to him. "See the barn? Second stall from the left?" Spencer nodded. "That's where I kept my favorite horse. She was the only thing I liked about living on a farm, as much as I appreciate all of it now. I would go out in 100 degree whether just to get work done with the horses. I'd ride her over the hills and be gone for so long my parents would have to come looking for me." Spencer looked over at JJ and could tell that she missed it. "I'd probably be no good at it now, but back when I was 16, I did races with her, and we won a lot of money. That's partly how I paid for college." JJ smiled at the memory before going back over to her clothes to put them away. "As far as I know, she's still out there. Maybe I'll go out tonight and see her." Spencer smiled, thinking of a young JJ sneaking out of the house to go riding.

JJ walked downstairs with Spencer in tow. She wanted to ask her mom about her horse.

"Mom, how's Gracie?" She asked, mentally preparing herself for the worst. Her mom smiled at her.

"I was waiting for you to ask. She's doing well, you could probably still ride her. But I trust that you understand it's been way to long for you to just hop up there like you used to and expect to be the same" her mom said, looking at her with her eyebrows raised." JJ rolled her eyes.

"I know mom." JJ said. She attempted to brush it off, but Spencer saw something different in her eyes. Regret. Sadness. Accepting the fact that she had lost something that was once so dear to her.

 _A/N - Hey guys! I know, I'm soooo late. But my health is absolute shit right now, so that's why. Im working on posting more I have a really cute idea for next chapter, but I have to write it, which is much harder that thinking of it. Bear with me you guys, because shit is going to start happening soon xD Until next time my loves :)_

 _-Hailey_


	12. Missing

That night, JJ and Spencer went up to JJ's room at around 430 to get some rest before dinner. The trip had exhausted the both of them, and Sandy had mentioned going out to the county winter fair after dinner.

JJ woke up and looked at the clock. 5:04. They had gotten about 30 minutes of sleep, which would be enough to keep them going for a few hours. She noticed Spencer wasn't in the room, assuming he probably went to the bathroom or something. She got up and lifted her T-shirt over her head, so she could change into something nicer for dinner. Spencer walked in the room and saw her, wearing her black bra and skinny jeans. He slowly walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. She turned around in his arms and her mouth made contact with his. He slowly pushed her up against the wall, going back to her neck and jawline.

"Spence…" She breathed, "My family-…"

"…-is out to dinner. They left 15 minutes ago, said they'd let us to sleep and come get us before they went to the fair. Your mom left a note-…" Spencer said, cutting her off.

"…-Thank god" JJ said, this time cutting him off. Spencer picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked over to the bed and slowly laid her down, leaning over her. They slowly began to undress each other, before slipping into blissful love.

After lying in bed for a while, they decided to go downstairs to make their own dinner. They settled on sandwiches, since neither of them wanted to cook. They sat across from each other at the small round table.

"I think I'm going to go out and see Gracie when I'm finished. Wanna come?" Spencer smiled up at her.

"Yeah".

After they finished eating, JJ threw on a pair of boots and headed out the back sliding door, with Spencer following her. She opened the gate to the barn and walked in, quickly making her way to the second stall on the left. Spencer could tell the second she saw her, her eyes lit up and she smiled like Spencer had never seen before. She threw upon the gate and entered the stall, wrapping her arms around the base of the horse's neck and burying her face. Spencer stood at the gate and watched her in awe.

"It's been way to damn long" JJ mumbled. She pulled away and looked at the horse, which put its nose to JJ's forehead. JJ smiled, and then turned to Spencer.

"Come on, she won't bite… unless you piss her off" She said with a laugh. Spencer smiled at her and walked over, a little on edge since he had never been this close to such a big animal before. JJ stroked the horse's nose and looked longingly at her. Spencer noticed this.

"You miss it, don't you?" JJ nodded.

"So much." Spencer's heart broke for her. She had loved and lost, just not in the traditional way.

"Have you considered trying it again?" JJ's eyes flickered with hope before going back to an expression of disappointment.

"It's been too long. Riding is such a complicated thing, something you have to keep up with. And I guess I just didn't." Spencer nodded.

"I'm sorry Jay. I can tell that you really miss it." JJ sighed.

"No, it's my fault. I chose to leave the farm. I guess I just didn't want to leave her, too." Just as Spencer was about to say something, JJ's phone buzzed. It was a text from her mom. JJ read it out loud.

"Be there in 15 minutes if you guys want to go to the fair." JJ looked up at Spencer.

"Wanna go?" Spencer smiled.

"Only if you ride the Ferris wheel with me". JJ smiled back.

"Deal."

The fair wasn't nearly as packed as JJ thought it would be, but there were still plenty of people there. JJ's niece had spent the whole ride there trying to convince her aunt to go on the rollercoaster with her, but she wasn't having much luck. That's when Spencer leaned over to Lexi and whispered to her.

"You know, if you tickle your Aunt JJ's sides, she'll give in". Lexi smiled back and him and nodded. She turned to JJ and started tickling her.

"Lex... Lexi… Sto…Stop!" At that point, both JJ and Lexi were laughing hysterically. "Fine! I'll go! But only once!" Lexi smiled, happy that she finally got her aunt to concede.

When they got there, Lexi immediately dragged the family towards the roller coaster, elated to se that there was no line.

"Aunt JJ, can Spencer come too?" JJ smiled and looked up at Spencer. Spencer smiled down at the girls.

"Absolutely!"

The three of them sat in the seats of the roller coaster, a terrified JJ in the middle. Spencer looked over at her.

"Jaydge, you okay?" he asked and grabbed her hand, half concerned and half amused.

"I absolutely HATE rollercoasters. Remind me again why I let Lexi talk me into this?" Spencer lightly laughed.

"Relax, it'll be fun."

5 minutes later, the 3 of them got off the ride and walked towards the rest of JJ's family. Sandy looked up at her daughter.

"How was it, sweetheart?" JJ looked up at her with a glare.

"Remind me to never give in to Lexi again." The family chuckled at JJ's expense and walked through the rest of the fair until the snow started, leaving the family rushing to get home before the blizzard rolled in.

When they got home, JJ and spencer sat downstairs with JJ's mom.

"So, how's life at the BAU?" Sandy asked them, more pointed to her daughter, who oddly never shared much on the topic. JJ looked at her with a neutral face.

"It's okay." Sandy wouldn't let the conversation end there.

"Any interesting cases?" She pressed.

"Nope." JJ answered. Sandy sighed.

"Jen, why don't you ever talk to me about your job? I understand it can be gruesome, but I can handle it." JJ was just about to argue back when Jason came running into the room with a panicked expression on his face and Kristen in tow.

"Avery's gone!" JJ's expression turned cold. Jason proceeded to tell the family how he went into his daughter's 1st floor bedroom to say goodnight and found her window wide open. JJ stood up and began to run to the garage, grabbing her car keys off of the counter.

"We're snowed in, Jen. The blizzard left us with at least 3 feet. Hell, most of the damn horses couldn't get through this snow!" He let out, frustrated.

An idea ran through JJ, and Sandy and Spencer could tell, both knowing what it was.

"But Gracie can" she stated, almost simply. Sandy started to slowly shake her head no, not wanting her daughter to do something so dangerous when she hadn't done it in years. JJ nodded her head, her eyes still wide, and started back pedaling before turning around a running out the sliding back door. Sandy and Spencer chased her.

"JJ, don't! It's been too long! Who knows what could happen!" Sandy yelled to her daughter. But it was too late. JJ had jumped on Gracie, deciding she didn't have enough time to put the saddle on, and was running full speed toward the gate. Just when Spencer thought they were going to run into it, JJ pulled up on the reins and Gracie jumped it, running out towards the street.

JJ searched road and sidewalk area for any sign of her niece. She was beginning to lose hope when she saw the pink short sleeved pajama top of her niece. She jumped down and grabbed her, seeing that she was very cold and virtually unresponsive. Panic sank into her heart, but she knew there was no time for it. She set Avery on top of the horse by herself for only a moment, and then pulled herself up. Avery looked up at her.

"Aunt… aunt JJ…" she mumbled.

"Sssshh, it's all going to be okay sweetie, we're going home. Just hang in there." She pulled off her hoodie and wrapped in around Avery, not caring that it left her in a tank top and her pajama shorts in the below freezing weather. She kicked Gracie's sides and made her way back to the house.

Sandy finally breathed again when she saw her daughter and granddaughter come around the side of the house, both looking exhausted. JJ handed Avery down to Kristen, then slid down her and right into Spencer's arms, who held her up. One thing was for sure, she forgot how much work riding bareback while holding onto a toddler was. After standing for a minute while the family fawned over Avery and took her into the house to make sure she would be okay, she took Gracie back to her stall, Spencer right behind her. JJ put her away, patting her neck and whispering to her, before walking out of the stall. She closed the gate and leaned up against it. Spencer pulled her into a hug, realizing how cold she was.

"Jaydge, you've got to go inside. You're freezing." JJ nodded and Spencer put an arm around her, leading her inside.

Jason had decided to take Avery to the hospital, since she wasn't talking much. JJ, Spencer, and Sandy sat around the table drinking coffee. JJ had a blanket over her shoulders, trying to come back from the freezing temperature her body had been at. Sandy was the first to break the silence.

"Jen, as crazy as you are for jumping on Gracie, I'm happy that you did. You saved Avery honey, I'm proud of you." JJ only smiled up at her.

"Jaydge, I've had Chris try to ride her, just to get her out and moving. You should see her, she goes nuts, tries to throw him off. She won't let anyone ride her. She wouldn't even let anyone but Lexi in her stall with her." Sandy looked at her daughter, forcing her to look at her. "She's missed you."

Before JJ could answer, her phone rang. She picked it up and saw that is was her brother. She put him on speaker.

"Hey James, what's up?"

"Jen, the doctors found a letter tucked into Avery's shirt pocket. It's addressed to you." He paused, trying to swallow his fear. "Jen, it's really threatening, it says that someone's coming after you, and-" JJ cut him off before he could finish.

"We're on our way." She hung up the phone and grabbed Spencer's arm and pulled him up, her heart already beating out of her chest.

 _A/N - Hey guys! I tried to give this chapter some action, since its been a little slow lately. That and I wanted to convey JJ's big heart :) Kind of clueless for how i want to do the next chapter. Eh, I'll figure it out. Until next time my loves :)_

 _\- Hailey_

 _P.S. This is my longest chapter... Yay!_


	13. Hunted

After watching JJ struggle to get the key in the ignition, Spencer insisted that he drive them to the hospital. If he thought that JJ was scared when she realized she was being targeted, he should have seen her now. She was in complete hysterics, terrified for her family.

"Spence, I… I don't know what I'd do if…" Spencer quickly reached over and grabbed her hand, not wanting her to finish that sentence.

"JJ, don't think like that. He's not going to do that. He wouldn't get anything out of it; he would just leave us more information to go on. He knows that. It's going to be okay, I promise."

JJ jumped out of the SUV as soon as they parked, practically running to her niece's hospital room. When she walked in, she saw her sister in law, bent over in her chair holding her sleeping daughters hand, while Jason sat behind her and rubbed her back. When he looked up and saw JJ and Spencer, he got up and silently guided the two of them out of the room and into the hallway. He passed JJ the note.

 _"Now do you see how powerful I am? I could ruin your life in the blink of an eye. This will be the last time I speak with you through letters, next it will be face to face. Sleep with one eye open, my dear. This time, it won't be as easy as waterboarding and electrocution."_

JJ handed the letter to Spence, running her hands through her hair and not making eye contact with her brother, willing herself not to cry.

"Jen, what is this? I read that letter. You've been getting a whole bunch of them? Why didn't you tell us?" Jason asked, a bit hurt that his sister hid this form their family, from _him._

JJ drew in a long breathe, doing her best to explain this in a way that wouldn't worry her brother too much. Her burdens were not his to carry. She had barely even told him anything about the first time she was abducted, and she wasn't going to change that. He was living a happy life with a happy family, and she didn't want that to change.

"Everything's fine. We're going to get this taken care of. Jason, please don't tell mom. She doesn't need to worry about it." Jason sighed. He hated that his sister never felt the need to confide in her family when she was in trouble.

"JJ, please talk to me about this. We want to help you. You know we can't hide this from mom". He did his best to plead with her. By that time, Spencer had finished the letter and was observing the interaction. JJ shot her brother a glare.

"Jason, there are no words to describe how pissed I would be if you brought mom into this. This is my problem, not yours. I'm beyond sorry that whoever this person is hurt Avery, but I am going to do everything in my power to keep you guys safe. Please, just leave this be." Jason breathed in and spoke lightly.

"Jen, you've never been good at talking about your feelings, but please, let us help you. We have to know what's going on. You would tell Allison, so why won't-" JJ had started to walk away, but spun around when she heard her brother. The look on her face could kill.

"Don't you dare. We are NOT having that conversation, got it? All… she… has nothing to do with this. Now for once, would you just listen to me?" She didn't give him time to answer before she headed back to the SUV, waiting until later to see her niece. Spencer shot Jason an apologetic look before following her.

"JJ! Wait!" Spencer called after her until she got to the SUV and leaned against it, finally starting to let her tears fall. He ran up to and pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead. They sat like that for a few moments before she spoke.

"Why can't he just leave me the hell alone? What did I do to deserve this? Im by far a perfect person, sometimes I'm probably not even a good person most of the time, but this? What did I do to deserve to have my life taken over by some physco?" Spencer couldn't believe what he was hearing. How did she not see how amazing she was?

"Don't say that. JJ, your one of the best people I know. You don't deserve this. I'll call the team when we get back. We're going to figure this out, JJ. For real this time. I won't sleep until we catch this guy. I won't let him hurt you." JJ looked up at him, in awe for how he treated her. She pulled him in and kissed him hard.

"I love you, Spencer."

"I love you too, Jennifer."

JJ and Spencer sat in JJ's old bedroom with the door closed and locked. The family was all outside, but he wanted to take extra precautions. They were about to video chat with the team about what had happened, and JJ was adamant on her family not knowing anything, having Jason sworn to secrecy. And if the team asked, they would tell them that Spencer was there to make sure she was protected at all times while she spent time with her family.

"Jaydge, are you ready" Spencer asked. JJ took a deep breathe in.

"I guess. I just hope we don't hit a dead end." She said. He pulled her close.

"We won't. I promise, we're going to figure this out." He released her and made sure not to look suspicious before he hit the call button on her laptop, hearing it ring twice before Garcia answered with Matt, Hotch, Rossi, Emily, and Morgan behind her.

"Hello peaches and genius, how may we help you?" Reid had only told Hotch about the letter, and he suggested that the two of them tell the team.

"Everyone, JJ got another letter." The team sighed, upset that their friend had to go through the pain again. Reid explained what had happened with Avery, which made the team even angrier at this person, and they all went to work on the case.

2 hours later, they had hit another dead end, causing JJ to pace the room. Judging on the letters, they had figured out that the person was most likely a male, and that he was a sadist. He enjoyed emotionally toying with JJ and seeing her suffer, but Garcia couldn't narrow it down enough.

"Come one you guys, just one more piece of information and I might be able to figure it out. We know that it's a male sadist that came in contact with JJ, that leave's 53 people. What else?" The team was silent. After a few moments, Rossi spoke.

"I think sadist is putting it lightly with this guy, everything he's done thus far is to scare JJ. He even went as far as kidnapping a child just to let her go a few houses down, and bringing up JJ's first abduction." JJ stopped her pacing, a confused look on her face. Reid looked up and saw this.

"JJ, what are you thinking?" He asked, seeing the wheels turning in her head.

"It just doesn't make sense… who else would know that I got water boarded and electrocuted, like he said in the last letter? Askari and Hastings were smart, they wouldn't have told anyone they're plans, and they didn't live to tell… unless…" JJ's eyes grew wide. Reid quickly turned his attention back to the monitor.

"Hotch, where did you shoot Askari?" Hotch shook his head.

"I don't know, I just shot until he fell." Reid asked a second question.

"Does anyone officially know what happened to him after we left?" The silence in the room gave him his answer. Hotch spoke next.

"Garcia, see if you can pull a death certificate on Askari. Rossi and Morgan, go to the hospital and have them search their records to see if he was ever there. Prentiss and I are going to the Department of State to see what they have on him. Matt, you're staying here. We'll call you 3 as soon as we get information."

3 hours later, the laptop dinged. JJ quickly cleaned of the makeup under her eyes and walked into the room just as Spencer was answering the video chat call. She was a bit calmer now, having spent the time cuddling and talking with Spencer, but even he could only do so much. He heart wouldn't slow down, and her tears wouldn't stop falling. She stood across from Spencer, out of the teams view. She didn't want them to see her like this. She didn't see the somber look on Matt's face.

"What do we have guys?" He wasn't sure what he wanted to hear; if Askari was dead, then it wasn't someone that JJ was already petrified of, but then they would be back at a dead end. Morgan spoke first.

"The hospital had records of treating him, but they didn't show the outcome. So I called Hotch and told him." Hotch spoke next.

"Once I told Jackson that we knew he had been treated, she told me everything else. They treated him so they could interrogate him and get information about plans in the Middle East. He was to be there until he was stable, but he escaped the hospital." He paused before adding the next part, worried about what it would do to JJ. "He's presumed alive, and the Department is fairly certain that as of right now, you and Matt are being hunted."

 _A/N Soooooo? Did you guys expect that? I hope not, I tried not to make it obvious while still forming his profile. Anyways, I probably won't be able to update as much from now on. I'm starting school, and I'm taking a Pre-Vet class in Animal Science. I know, it sounds horrible. I'll try to keep putting content up though. Okay, I'm going to stop now. I've been typing so much that I'm messing up every word and having to backspace. Until next time, my loves :)_

 _-Hailey_


	14. Control

After taking 5 minutes to sit outside and breathe a little, JJ ventured back up to her room to talk to her team. She made herself promise not to cry; she had done too much of it over the situation and she wasn't about to give him any more of her tears then he had already taken. While video chatting with her team, she was subtly texting Matt, who was in the same room as the rest of the team. She wanted to be able to talk to him without any interruptions, and without worrying if her voice would falter.

 _"How are we going to do this again? He's heavily trained, how are we supposed to hide ourselves from him? –JJ"_

 _"I'm not sure, but if any team is capable of finding a way, it's this one. Keep your head up. –Matt"_

JJ wasn't so sure. She knew her team was great, possibly the best, but who could stop a trained terrorist? Spencer grabbed her hand and squeezed, knowing that she was worried and trying to pull her out of her thoughts. She looked at him and smiled, something that didn't go unnoticed by Hotch. He decided to ignore it for now. He spoke up.

"JJ, our best bet is to go after him. Until then, you are not to leave the house on your own. When you leave, you need to take Spencer or an armed Service Guard with you. He could be waiting to grab you and Cruz, we don't want to give him the chance."

JJ nodded. She wasn't a fan of this new rule, but she understood it. But she didn't want her team, her family, going after someone so dangerous.

"You guys shouldn't chase him. He's dangerous. I'll be careful, I promise, but please don't put yourselves in danger. I wouldn't be able to live if-"

Morgan cut her off before she could finish that sentence. "JJ, everything is going to be fine. We're going to catch this guy so you and Cruz can live a normal life." Next, Emily chimed in.

"You guys can't always live in hiding, having to watch your back. Something has to be done." Cruz spoke after that.

"They're right. We have to know that eventually all of this will end and we'll be free, or it will tear us apart."

JJ glared at him. It was easy for him to say, he didn't have the same connection with the rest of the team as she did. This was her family. She couldn't let them hurt themselves over her. But, at the same time, she knew they would do it anyway and there was no point in arguing with them. She sighed.

"Okay."

With that, Spencer and JJ said their goodbyes and fell asleep in each other's arms, not having any more energy to continue with the rest of their day.

* * *

Spencer woke up expecting to feel JJ next to him, but was surprised to find an empty, cold bed. He got up, noticing the note on the door.

 _I'm out back, but I should probably be in before you get up. So, if you see this, I've probably lost track of time. Come get me :) -JJ_

Spencer smiled at the note, amused that she knew she would lose track of time. He got dressed and went downstairs, greeting Jason's family before heading outside. He saw JJ's mom, holding a cup of coffee, and staring out over the field. He looked out to see what she was staring out, only to raise his eyebrows. He looks up just in time to see JJ, far out in the field, trying to jump an obstacle. She went in for the jump and made it over rather roughly, and had to jump off before she fell off. JJ grunted in anger and stretched her wrists out before pulling herself back on. Gracie turned her head to look at her, as if to ask why she was being made to do work when she hadn't in so long. Jj went to do the jump again, only to miss it completely and fall off. Spencer's eyes widened as he prepared to go get her, but before he could do anything she pulled herself off the ground and back up onto the horse. Spencer smiled and her determination and stubbornness as he walked up next to JJ's mom.

"She's been up since the break of dawn trying to do that jump. She did it when she was little. I guess she doesn't want to admit she can't do it anymore." Spencer smiled.

"What changed?" He asked, trying to understand the sport. Sandy turned to him.

"Her spirit." Spencer nodded , and they both turned back to watch her. JJ and her horse took off running towards the jump, only for JJ to miss it again. Sandy's eyebrows furrowed, and she pulled out her phone and dialed her daughter's number. Spencer watched as seconds later, JJ pulled it out of her pocket and read the caller ID. She had seen her mother watching her. She clicked answer.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong. My backs straight, and my heels are down. What else?" Sandy smiled.

"That's just what I called you for. Do all that, but remember to squeeze the barrel of the horse with your legs. It will help with the balance and you should be able to complete the jump." After Sandy said that, Spencer could see the change in JJ's posture, even from as far away as they were.

"That's it." JJ said into the phone before hanging up and pulling herself back on Gracie. She ran her back to a few hundred feet before the jump and paused. She took a deep breathe, and kicked at Gracie's sides, who took off like a bat out of hell. JJ prepared for the jump. She pushed her heels down, straightened her back, and finally squeeze her legs to Gracie.

At the same time, Spencer was holding his breathe. He knew how much she needed this, to feel like she was in control of something in her life. He watched JJ go ovr the jump and land, hoping that she wouldn't fall or jump off. When he saw Gracie keep running, he let out a sigh. _She did it._

 _I did it_. JJ couldn't believe it. She threw her head back and her hands up and laughed. She had finally done it. She kicked GYoracie's sides and ran her back to the gate, deciding that she had worked her enough today. When she got to the gate, she jumped off of Gracie, only to see her mom and Spence. She smiled at him, then looked at her mom.

"I did it, I really did it." Sandy smiled at her.

'Yes, you did."

JJ leaned her head against the horse's neck, still breathing heavily from the ride. "We did it" She whispered. She looked back up at her mom.

"Thank you." Sandy smiled.

"You know, it's important that when we have problems, we go back to the beginning of it all and remember the basics of life, not get caught up in its issues" Sandy said with a wink. JJ blinked. So, Jason didn't keep his mouth shut. She would have to punish him for that later. But for now, she wrapped up things with Gracie and hugged her mom before tiredly leaning into Spencers arm around her should as he walked her inside.

* * *

 _Andddd there it is. Jeez, that took me forever, I'm sorry :( But either way, I have an important question for you guys. I'm not really getting any responses or anything as of lately, and I want to know if you guys still had interest in this story. If you do, let me know, because I have to decide if I'm going to continue this one or just do some one – shots. It's dependent on what you guys think. If we continue this sotry, its going to become a lot fluffier in the coming chapters. I've realized that although this is a JJ/Reid sotry, I haven't been giving them as much interaction as I wanted to. SO, drama is going to die down for a but so they can be cute :) Remember to leave a comment and tell me what you think. Until next time, my loves :)_

 _-Hailey_


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